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cjs_owndisclaimer. Not mine and none of the events described here in have any basis in reality.
title. Act Surprised
rating. PG-13 for cursing
pairing. Zach/Chris, past relationship/friendship/future relationship
summary. I blew it so hard, the camera needed a cigarette break.
notes. Written for this prompt attrek_rpf_kink.
.one.
They started filming the first scenes two weeks ago and even though Zach and Jesse have gone out every night to hang out, to get to know each other, there's still no definable chemistry between them, off camera and on. J.J. can see it too, but he just tells them to go to lunch and Zach winces when Karl makes a kissy face at him.
"Fuck off, Urban - I'm sure you heard worse from Peter," he shoots back and waves Jesse off, telling him, "I have to go by the house before Noah decides the carpet is the best place to pee."
But where he actually goes is the Paramount casting office, three buildings over and seventeen stories up. April and Alyssa, the main casting agents for the film, are there (thankfully) and he asks, "Chris Pine, he did audition, right?"
"Yeah,” Alyssa answers without looking up from a square of four plain, black & white head shots. “Was actually a bit of a toss up between him and Jesse, but since Jesse's already a pretty recogniz...”
“Lyss, seriously, not really interested in the whys and what-fores. I just want to see his audition tape,” he interrupts. “Can I steal it for a few hours?”
She shrugs, telling April, “Be back in a few – and I think we should recommend Lucas to them, but you decide,” as she slips from the office. She gestures for him to follow and he does without hesitation; he hears a cat-call whistle from behind him and he flips the person the bird; seriously, if he wasn't up her ass, she'd lose him in the maze that is the casting office (which is actually an entire floor).
The video room is filled to the brim with tapes and DVDs, organized in a way only she and the other casting directors seem to understand as he can find no discernible system to the laden shelving units. Leading him to the far end, she taps her chin with a finger, declaring, “Ah! There he is,” and pulls down the recording. She hands it to him and says, “Make sure I get this back, Zachary, and if I find it uploaded to YouTube, I'll have your balls for ornaments, capiche?”
“Yes, ma'am,” he responds with a smirk, then presses a kiss to her cheek and walks off, intending to head back to his trailer where he can immediately watch Chris' delivery of Kirk. But one of the production assistants, Josh, grabs him the minute he arrives back on set and tells him that J.J. wants to take another crack at the trial scene so he just throws the DVD onto the counter of his trailer's tiny kitchen, then takes off for makeup.
.two.
It's hours later, the sky darkening, when he leaves wardrobe and heads back to the trailer to shower. He's forgotten about the DVD in his aggravation so when he arrives, Zach doesn't spare a thought about it until after he's washed the make up off and slung a towel around his neck to catch the water dripping off his hair. He's slipping into his jeans when his cellphone vibrates – text message.
Pulling his favorite tank (the one Joe says makes him look like Waldo), Zach grabs his phone to see who wants his attention; the shiny plastic case winks at him under the dim light of the kitchenette and as he pulls up the text, he moves into the “living room” which is really just a couch and a tiny ottoman in front of a 15” flat screen tv and slides the disc into the player.
Amusingly, the message is from Chris and he laughs as he dials the number one-handed. It rings through the title menu and Zach's literally just gotten to Chris' audition when the other end picks up, Chris saying, “Man, I hear tell you and Jesse have been spending excessive amounts of time together.”
“Oh, yes, Chris,” he deadpans, “I want him. I want him so hard that I'm willing to overlook the fact that he's painfully straight. I swear that boy would run screaming in the opposite direction if I were to show an iota of interest in him.”
Chris snorts on the other end and Zach grins again, rewinding the audition to the beginning.
They'd met at Akbar in late June a few years earlier, both trawling for a fuck and they'd fallen into bed together expecting never to cross paths following that night. But a friend of Joe Quinto's was a trainer and being a struggling actor in LA, Zach had taken up the man's offer for some yoga classes at a discount rate and when he'd arrived at the comfortable-looking Silverlake home, Chris'd been sitting on a stool in the kitchen.
Seeing each other at least once a week thereafter, they'd gotten close and when Zach was cast on Heroes, Chris had been the first to know, the first to meet him at the club and buy him shots until he was too drunk to think.
“What the hell are you watching?” Chris asks him, jarring Zach from his thoughts. “I hear my voice and I swear if you're watching Princess Diaries again, I'm calling your mother. Seriously, it's not healthy to be that obsessed with Anne.”
“Ha ha, jackass,” Zach shoots back, steeling himself as he admits, “I'm watching your audition.”
“My audition? For what?”
He scowls and hits rewind again. “For what? What do you think?”
Chris groans, evidently flopping back onto his couch if the poof-noise flitting through the phone is anything to go by. “Why in God's name are you watching that blunder? I blew it so hard, the camera needed a cigarette break.”
“Shut up,” Zach tells him. “I'm showing it to J.J. tomorrow so when you get a call to get your ass down here, act surprised.”
“You're going to show J.J.? Zach, darling, have you struck your head? Suffering from a psychotic break?” Chris questions, sipping some drink with a slurp. “You've already started filming. Last I checked that means casting is over.”
“Just act surprised, damnit,” he repeats and hangs up.
.three.
Chris really didn't expect a call so when it comes the next morning, he is genuinely surprised.
He dresses so quickly he rips half the buttons of his favorite shirt and then spills cologne down the front of his second favorite. He decides against wearing the next shirt on the totem pole, yanking on a plain black tee instead and throws one of his cardigans over it though he knows Zach'll make fun of him when he sees the outfit – apparently wearing light-weight knit sweaters makes him look like Mister Rogers which means he looks old, but Chris doesn't give a flying fuck.
Especially when he gets to the read and Jesse glares at him when he's ushered into the room; Zach's already there, and Chris chokes back a laugh because he hasn't seen Zach since filming started and the missing three-quarters of his eyebrows make him look ridiculous.
Zach punches his shoulder, causing Chris to shoot a mock-wounded look at him, and he tells the man, “Just remember, I can nerve pinch you,” before smacking him with the few pages of script they were handed by Rob and Alex's assistant.
“I can still kick your non-violent pointy eared ass,” Chris retorts in a sing-song voice.
J.J. smiles at them as they bicker over the course of the next five minutes and Alex leans over to ask, “Should we tell them the camera's rolling?” and Roberto sneaks into the room, stopping to watch the scene in front of them for all of thirty seconds before saying, “I think we cast the wrong guy.”
Jesse swears he'll sue for breach of contract when Alex tells him he's being replaced, but it was supposed to be Jennifer's day on set and she hung around to find out what was going on so when he starts screaming she tells him to stop being an ass. “Like you don't get paid enough working on House,” she adds, “I'll tell Bobby – you know how he likes giving the humility lecture.”
She ends up dragging him back to her car, cutting off his whines the entire way and once they've out of sight, Zach pulls Chris into a hug and Karl pounds him on the back.
“Congratulations,” Urban says after calls are made to John, Anton, and Zoe, letting them know what they'd all sort of expected when Alex had called them horrifically early to tell them to stay home for the day. He's spinning the keys to his Civic on one finger, steering the two men toward his car because if they're going to go drinking – and they are – then he's volunteering to be the DD since the last time he got drunk with his co-stars, he'd woken up with a tattoo (not unpleasant) and Orli naked on top of him. And he'd really rather be the blackmailer than the blackmailee.
Chris just gapes at him like a fish and then his eyes go wide and he stops in the middle of the parking lot, declaring, “Holy shit – I'm James fucking Kirk.”
“I love the realization moment,” Karl admits and clicks the unlock button. “Get in the car, Pine.”
If it hadn't sunk in right then that he was going to be in a multi-million dollar picture where he would be front and center on the screen, his name above the title, he might have remarked about having just met Karl three hours ago so taking liberties already is a bit premature. But his capacity for thought has fled him and Chris does as he's told if only because Zach says, “We don't have all day – get in the car or I'm telling everyone about the erection you got filming the night scene with Anne.”
“I didn't...”
“Get in the car, Christopher,” Zach laughs.
title. Act Surprised
rating. PG-13 for cursing
pairing. Zach/Chris, past relationship/friendship/future relationship
summary. I blew it so hard, the camera needed a cigarette break.
notes. Written for this prompt at
trek_rpf_kink.They started filming the first scenes two weeks ago and even though Zach and Jesse have gone out every night to hang out, to get to know each other, there's still no definable chemistry between them, off camera and on. J.J. can see it too, but he just tells them to go to lunch and Zach winces when Karl makes a kissy face at him.
"Fuck off, Urban - I'm sure you heard worse from Peter," he shoots back and waves Jesse off, telling him, "I have to go by the house before Noah decides the carpet is the best place to pee."
But where he actually goes is the Paramount casting office, three buildings over and seventeen stories up. April and Alyssa, the main casting agents for the film, are there (thankfully) and he asks, "Chris Pine, he did audition, right?"
"Yeah,” Alyssa answers without looking up from a square of four plain, black & white head shots. “Was actually a bit of a toss up between him and Jesse, but since Jesse's already a pretty recogniz...”
“Lyss, seriously, not really interested in the whys and what-fores. I just want to see his audition tape,” he interrupts. “Can I steal it for a few hours?”
She shrugs, telling April, “Be back in a few – and I think we should recommend Lucas to them, but you decide,” as she slips from the office. She gestures for him to follow and he does without hesitation; he hears a cat-call whistle from behind him and he flips the person the bird; seriously, if he wasn't up her ass, she'd lose him in the maze that is the casting office (which is actually an entire floor).
The video room is filled to the brim with tapes and DVDs, organized in a way only she and the other casting directors seem to understand as he can find no discernible system to the laden shelving units. Leading him to the far end, she taps her chin with a finger, declaring, “Ah! There he is,” and pulls down the recording. She hands it to him and says, “Make sure I get this back, Zachary, and if I find it uploaded to YouTube, I'll have your balls for ornaments, capiche?”
“Yes, ma'am,” he responds with a smirk, then presses a kiss to her cheek and walks off, intending to head back to his trailer where he can immediately watch Chris' delivery of Kirk. But one of the production assistants, Josh, grabs him the minute he arrives back on set and tells him that J.J. wants to take another crack at the trial scene so he just throws the DVD onto the counter of his trailer's tiny kitchen, then takes off for makeup.
It's hours later, the sky darkening, when he leaves wardrobe and heads back to the trailer to shower. He's forgotten about the DVD in his aggravation so when he arrives, Zach doesn't spare a thought about it until after he's washed the make up off and slung a towel around his neck to catch the water dripping off his hair. He's slipping into his jeans when his cellphone vibrates – text message.
Pulling his favorite tank (the one Joe says makes him look like Waldo), Zach grabs his phone to see who wants his attention; the shiny plastic case winks at him under the dim light of the kitchenette and as he pulls up the text, he moves into the “living room” which is really just a couch and a tiny ottoman in front of a 15” flat screen tv and slides the disc into the player.
Amusingly, the message is from Chris and he laughs as he dials the number one-handed. It rings through the title menu and Zach's literally just gotten to Chris' audition when the other end picks up, Chris saying, “Man, I hear tell you and Jesse have been spending excessive amounts of time together.”
“Oh, yes, Chris,” he deadpans, “I want him. I want him so hard that I'm willing to overlook the fact that he's painfully straight. I swear that boy would run screaming in the opposite direction if I were to show an iota of interest in him.”
Chris snorts on the other end and Zach grins again, rewinding the audition to the beginning.
They'd met at Akbar in late June a few years earlier, both trawling for a fuck and they'd fallen into bed together expecting never to cross paths following that night. But a friend of Joe Quinto's was a trainer and being a struggling actor in LA, Zach had taken up the man's offer for some yoga classes at a discount rate and when he'd arrived at the comfortable-looking Silverlake home, Chris'd been sitting on a stool in the kitchen.
Seeing each other at least once a week thereafter, they'd gotten close and when Zach was cast on Heroes, Chris had been the first to know, the first to meet him at the club and buy him shots until he was too drunk to think.
“What the hell are you watching?” Chris asks him, jarring Zach from his thoughts. “I hear my voice and I swear if you're watching Princess Diaries again, I'm calling your mother. Seriously, it's not healthy to be that obsessed with Anne.”
“Ha ha, jackass,” Zach shoots back, steeling himself as he admits, “I'm watching your audition.”
“My audition? For what?”
He scowls and hits rewind again. “For what? What do you think?”
Chris groans, evidently flopping back onto his couch if the poof-noise flitting through the phone is anything to go by. “Why in God's name are you watching that blunder? I blew it so hard, the camera needed a cigarette break.”
“Shut up,” Zach tells him. “I'm showing it to J.J. tomorrow so when you get a call to get your ass down here, act surprised.”
“You're going to show J.J.? Zach, darling, have you struck your head? Suffering from a psychotic break?” Chris questions, sipping some drink with a slurp. “You've already started filming. Last I checked that means casting is over.”
“Just act surprised, damnit,” he repeats and hangs up.
Chris really didn't expect a call so when it comes the next morning, he is genuinely surprised.
He dresses so quickly he rips half the buttons of his favorite shirt and then spills cologne down the front of his second favorite. He decides against wearing the next shirt on the totem pole, yanking on a plain black tee instead and throws one of his cardigans over it though he knows Zach'll make fun of him when he sees the outfit – apparently wearing light-weight knit sweaters makes him look like Mister Rogers which means he looks old, but Chris doesn't give a flying fuck.
Especially when he gets to the read and Jesse glares at him when he's ushered into the room; Zach's already there, and Chris chokes back a laugh because he hasn't seen Zach since filming started and the missing three-quarters of his eyebrows make him look ridiculous.
Zach punches his shoulder, causing Chris to shoot a mock-wounded look at him, and he tells the man, “Just remember, I can nerve pinch you,” before smacking him with the few pages of script they were handed by Rob and Alex's assistant.
“I can still kick your non-violent pointy eared ass,” Chris retorts in a sing-song voice.
J.J. smiles at them as they bicker over the course of the next five minutes and Alex leans over to ask, “Should we tell them the camera's rolling?” and Roberto sneaks into the room, stopping to watch the scene in front of them for all of thirty seconds before saying, “I think we cast the wrong guy.”
Jesse swears he'll sue for breach of contract when Alex tells him he's being replaced, but it was supposed to be Jennifer's day on set and she hung around to find out what was going on so when he starts screaming she tells him to stop being an ass. “Like you don't get paid enough working on House,” she adds, “I'll tell Bobby – you know how he likes giving the humility lecture.”
She ends up dragging him back to her car, cutting off his whines the entire way and once they've out of sight, Zach pulls Chris into a hug and Karl pounds him on the back.
“Congratulations,” Urban says after calls are made to John, Anton, and Zoe, letting them know what they'd all sort of expected when Alex had called them horrifically early to tell them to stay home for the day. He's spinning the keys to his Civic on one finger, steering the two men toward his car because if they're going to go drinking – and they are – then he's volunteering to be the DD since the last time he got drunk with his co-stars, he'd woken up with a tattoo (not unpleasant) and Orli naked on top of him. And he'd really rather be the blackmailer than the blackmailee.
Chris just gapes at him like a fish and then his eyes go wide and he stops in the middle of the parking lot, declaring, “Holy shit – I'm James fucking Kirk.”
“I love the realization moment,” Karl admits and clicks the unlock button. “Get in the car, Pine.”
If it hadn't sunk in right then that he was going to be in a multi-million dollar picture where he would be front and center on the screen, his name above the title, he might have remarked about having just met Karl three hours ago so taking liberties already is a bit premature. But his capacity for thought has fled him and Chris does as he's told if only because Zach says, “We don't have all day – get in the car or I'm telling everyone about the erection you got filming the night scene with Anne.”
“I didn't...”
“Get in the car, Christopher,” Zach laughs.
